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[Lcdproc] When I Scream I am Ignored

Chronological Thread 
  • From: stewartputnam AT (Stewart W. Putnam)
  • Subject: [Lcdproc] When I Scream I am Ignored
  • Date: Fri Mar 31 18:33:01 2006

The other day I went skiing. It was an nice day. Traffic through
Bellevue was light and the raods were clear into the mountains. I'd
picked a good wax for the day and I was feeling fit: I wished I'd
brought my helmet so I could push a little harder, go a little faster,
take some of those telemark drills and exercises to the steeper slopes.
The scraggly, grungy lift operators that empathatically bleat something
snively and whiney about life or the world around them by way of
greeting were easy to ignore.

I cut my day short though.

I walked into the lodge and there it was on an as yet unoccupied
conference table: fliers, maps, a stack of lift tickets, and a "Welcome
Microsoft" sign.

I did not have a panic attack, thank goodness. But I see it coming
down the pike... Surrounded by the young, exquisitly healthy,
intelligent, dynamic, full of can-do and momentum, and wealth. It
starts with a compliment on my skiing, or a light comment about having
the day off. But it occurrs to me. It might happen. It would be
unpleasant. Easy enough to avoid...

There I am screaming at the top of my lungs to someone or
several someones who didn't mean anything by it, who didn't expect
this. So there I am screaming, making a scene in a crowd: "WHAT THE
FUCK IS IT! Can little Billy Gates remember meeting me?! I was once
kind of lead to believe he wanted to talk to me. Clearly all my
mistake! Does he want to pick up that conversation about Dr. Donald
Dudley and that Jim Jones Cult Pervert Psychopath freak Daniel O.
Cummings? Has Microsoft prepared some legal white paper on those two
and My father? All neat and tidy, reviewed by the CIA (703)482 0623 and
the FBI (206)622 0460 and the ACLU and the Washigton State Human Rights
Comission? Some sort of sane starting point? I mean if Burton Smith
told Bill Gates to approach Stewart Putnam, I'd bet they're talkin' bout
My father's and Dr. Dudly's and Dunce Pervert Dummig's INVISIBLE FRIEND,
and GOLLY I"M NOT INTERESTED! NOOOO ?! What's the budget? Will that
sweeping a no contact order hold up in the courts? Eh? What? You're a
vibrant youngster who's enthusiasm for what you do spills onto those
around you? WELL EXCUSE YOU FUCKING ME! For a moment there I thougt
you might be speaking for Microsoft and presuming on my attention.
Shure as shit felt like a hotile full nelson on my intellect..."

Annyway, I'd had a nice morning of telemark. I'd not brought my
helmet, so bumping things up a notch didn't seem wise. Looked like it
might be getting colder, darker, and might rain annyway. Easy enough to
just leave while the table was empty. Traffic was light again and the
weather was clearer near the Sound. I stopped by the computer graveyard
and got a replacement start menu key for the PII laptop my cousin gave
my aunt for me to fix up for my nephew, for only a dollar. They'd
rotated the art in the cafe by the ferry dock so I didn't get around to
seeing if there were really no footnotes Bertil Hille in Nature's review
of ion channels.

  • [Lcdproc] When I Scream I am Ignored, Stewart W. Putnam, 03/31/2006

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